My Experience

I feel like my experience in the Mississippi Teacher Corps has been fairly typical of most of the participants. In a nutshell, I came in thinking that I would kind of know what to expect simply because I had had two friends try their hand at teaching in critical-needs districts and I had heard all of their stories. I was soon humbled after my first lesson when I realized that I sucked at what I thought I was going to be good at. Throughout the first summer, I felt like I continued progressing, and by the end of that time period I thought I had gotten a lot better. I suppose it is relative, but looking back on it now, it seems like all I had accomplished was to transition from being unmitigatedly inept to barely recognizable as a teacher. I remember naturally gravitating to the people who were at or who would be at North Panola High School with me. They would be the first ones that I would be able to call my new friends and, skipping forward to today for a second, I feel like I have become close with all of them. That actually says a lot since I am naturally somewhat introverted. The first year was filled with disappointment, frustration, and a need to be comforted. In regard to my first year of teaching, I have no problem being candid about two things. One, I am glad it is over and that I have it under my belt. Two, I honestly do not think I would have made it without the friendship, emotional availability, and overall positive teaching community offered by the Mississippi Teacher Corps participants at North Panola. I remember going into the second summer with my confidence shattered into a million tiny pieces. I was actually worried that I would be as bad as I had been the previous summer. Fortunately, and thank God this happened, my one year of experience had unforeseen benefits for me and I was able to rebuild some of the confidence that I so desperately needed. Even with a month off before real school began, that momentum stayed with me and I actually got off to a pretty decent start. Today (12/15/2011), it’s not as dandy as it was at the beginning of the year due to inconsistencies from both me and the administration, but I am light years ahead of where I was at this time one year ago.

Joining MTC

The Mississippi Teacher Corps offers many great life experiences. First, it provides an opportunity to network. What you will notice on the very first day is that when people are introducing themselves and saying which college or university they went to, there will most likely be several prestigious schools named. So, right off the bat you will come into contact with a whole room of motivated and intelligent people. Also, and the program director will most likely tell you this, the people willing to take on the challenges provided by the Mississippi Teacher Corps are unlikely to be ass holes, which makes making friends with the people you meet fairly easy. Second, the Mississippi Teacher Corps offers a chance to garner some very valuable work experience, especially for recent college grads. You will wake up at 5:30 every weekday morning, teach at your school from around 7 AM to around 4 PM (all while trying to remain sane, but that’s another story!), and plan for the next day/grade papers/do your MTC work/coach your team/tutor until you go to sleep anywhere from 10 (if you’re lucky) to midnight. Sure, the work isn’t exactly glorious. However, after two years of busting your butt not only will you have greatly strengthened your resume with work in a critical-needs school and a brand new masters degree, you will have also gained invaluable leadership experience. Lastly, and it might seem a bit cliche, but the Mississippi Teacher Corps truly offers the chance for some incredible memories that you will cherish for a lifetime. Whether those memories are painful (such as having a student curse at you for writing them up), comforting (such as going to a Halloween party with other MTC’ers to blow off some steam), or just downright hilarious (such as a student saying, and I quote, “Mane, your momma’s so fat, she squirt mayonnaise out her nurples”) you will remember them for a long time.

Since we’re being honest, there are also some reasons not to join MTC. If you are suffering from some delusion that teaching will be easy, especially in the types of school districts MTC places it participants, then you should not apply. If you are not willing to work hard almost every single day for at least two years, then you should not apply. And finally, if you are not willing to take advice, change things that experienced teachers tell you that you do wrong, and accept that you will not be very good at first, then you should not apply.

Last Year's Portfolios

After looking over half of the portfolios from last year’s class, I can’t say if there is one specific formula for what makes one great. There were several who decided to make their different sections very wordy and it worked for me, while the longer sections tended to bore me in others and I would find myself losing interest quickly. Admittedly, biases probably played a bit of a role since the first ones I looked at were teachers with whom I had taught the previous year or whom I had gotten to know through other circumstances. It should probably be no surprise that the people with more verbose sections in their portfolios who could also keep my attention tended to be English teachers. I suppose they are naturally more magician-y (word?) with words. 

Perhaps this speaks more to my ADHD personality, but I that found the portfolios with chunks of words in short mini-paragraphs were much more enjoyable reads. Pictures also helped out with keeping my interest. The photo essays were done in one of two ways: individual shots where you could scroll down and look at them all or in a slideshow format. Of course, both ways had room for their own creative twist. I think the best way to approach that would be to offer both methods. It has also brought to my attention that I need to be thinking of different types of pictures I want to take that include my students, colleagues, and community. 

Videos are also an intriguing aspect to these portfolios. Of the portfolios I looked at, the videos were well-done. I can understand the allure of simply doing videos in most sections so as to save you the time of writing things, but none of the portfolios overused any videos. Every time I came across one in a portfolio, it seemed novel and a nice change from reading the text. I saw that when students were involved, it threw in a humorous twist because they either ham it up or try to act real tough on camera. If I were to interview students, it would probably have to be at the end of the year when things become a little more lax. I will definitely incorporate at least one video into my portfolio, though I’m not sure where, but I will also be conscious that they should be used carefully.  

Viewing last year’s portfolios has really brought a lot of ideas to my mind, but it has also let me know that I have a lot of things to think about.

First Day Back, Second Time Around

How should I describe the first day of school the second time around... hmm... I believe the best way for me to sum it up is to say that it was different, and that is a good thing through and through. The night before the first day of school this year, I was in my room at school until 11:20 at night still trying to finish setting it up. I inherited a smaller room with less storage space and more materials than the previous year, and I had the hardest time trying to figure out what to do with it all. While my room still isn’t where I want it to be, it’s still SO much better than my set up from last year already. To compare, the night before the first day of school last year I remember that my mom had made a nice dinner and had dropped me back off at my place when I got the sudden feeling that I was going to vomit all of my stomach’s contents onto the grass in front of the door. Even as she wished me luck from the rolled-down window of her car as she left, I knew that it was going to take much more than wishes. Granted, I still felt nervous before the first day of school this year again, but it paled in comparison to last year. 

Another difference was how comfortable I felt in the school, in my room, and around the kids. It’s perhaps needless to say that the opposite was true last year. I could best describe my efforts as bumbling, unconfident, and uninspired. It was just SO weird and unexpected how easy it was to exude confidence in front of the class this time. I remember sometime last March finally “waking up” so to speak and realizing what I wanted to do in front of the class to gain their respect. Obviously, it was too late at that time and I had to suffer until late May, but it was great finally knowing exactly what I wanted. I had to suffer through depressive states, fight and claw just to survive in the classroom, and will myself awake most mornings up until that point to finally see the light, but that was just it, I had seen the light. I finally knew what I wanted. Of course, I still had to fight depression, fight and claw, and will myself awake for the next two months, but knowing what I wanted made it all just that much easier. When I finally got back to summer school this past June, I was given the opportunity to start fresh with a new classroom. I had the opportunity to try out the new things I wanted to try out and do the things that I was so sure would work. That first day was comparable to the first day of my first year. Feeling so nervous that I could clear my stomach of anything inside of it at any time. After finally giving a Rules and Procedures lesson where I knew what I was doing and knew exactly what I wanted and after getting a thumbs up from my awesome team teacher, AK, I felt like a near infinite amount of weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Each lesson thereafter I gained more and more confidence in myself and my teaching abilities. Things that I knew were there, but had never had the chance to come out due to my ineptitude during the previous school year were finally showing. Though I had a month off in July to lose that steam and have nightmares of being helpless in front of a class of students, that confidence only proved to spill over into this year. I feel like I have digressed a little, but the point remains that I can now teach in front of a classroom of kids, be confident, and make them feel my confidence.

     

What is one thing you will do differently in your classroom next year?

Wow, where do I start with this one?  Even with having friends teach in critical-needs schools before me, summer school, role plays, and endless advice from teachers with more experience than me, I did soooooo many things wrong my first year. Therefore, if you’ve taught your first year along with me this 2010-11 school year, or have taught before me, or even if you have never taught, you might be able to imagine how wrong I have done some things in my classroom. 

I suppose that if I had to start somewhere it would be that I would not be so nice. Don’t get me wrong, my kids have seen me get angry, but I have taken and accepted WAY too much disrespect. Maybe I’m just hard-headed, but it’s been a problem for me ever since last summer at Holly Springs. I remember JS, a member of the class of ’08, coming into my summer school room to observe me and afterward incredulously asking me why this or that kid was allowed to stay in the room for the duration of the lesson after they had talked to their friends the whole time and/or talked back to me when I asked them to be quiet. My explanation?... I really didn’t have one, and I still don’t.  Looking back on it, I almost salivate at the ability to send a child out of the classroom for misbehaving and knowing that the child will almost certainly receive a true consequence from the administration because they are competent and on my side. However, going back to my first summer, I now feel like it was (and to a certain degree still is) fear. Fear of incurring the child’s wrath, fear of confrontation, fear of being a leader. It’s almost comical looking back to before I was in the program and envisioning future, utopian endeavors as a parent. God! I would’ve been freaking terrible! I would’ve been such a pushover and would’ve been run over by their 4th birthday if I was even lucky enough to last that long. Thankfully, that fear has ebbed away to a large degree. I still experience it, but now that feeling just pisses me off and that anger helps to stave off any fear of reprimanding a child. However, in all honesty, I’m writing this after a particularly weak day of teaching. I was fully prepared, had everything set up and ready to go way before I had to teach, and even had a hit with my hit-or-miss 1st period, but simply came in soft and completely unprepared from 3rd - 6th period. Fourth period completely ran me over and it really felt reminiscent of my classes from back in September/October when chaos seemed to reign and wait on me around every corner. Of course, I am able to keep in mind that having a “particularly weak” lesson at this point is relative since I would’ve given my left arm to have a lesson like today’s back in the actual September/October of this school year. However, I felt that hesitation, that lack of initiative to stop the problems before they snowballed into something more, that... fear. I even apologized to my co-teacher after 4th period ended today. I was embarrassed at my lack of ability to control the classroom. You simply can NEVER, EVER become lax on this job.

Another thing that I will change for next year is that I will have more and better procedures when August rolls around. Maybe there is an upper limit to the number of procedures one teacher can have in a classroom, but I feel that if I keep them simple and am consistent with them, then I can fix just about all of my problems without coming close to that limit. Going to the bathroom, turning in calculators and homework, leaving class, writing assignments, going to lunch, passing up papers, grading work... God, what else am I missing? Probably a lot. All of these things have so much room for improvement in my classroom, and I cannot help but feel that tweaking or even completely changing how I do these things will be paramount in having a well managed classroom next year.

So in review, being fully prepared and having a classroom structure as planned out as possible is of the utmost importance in having a well run classroom. Also, kids are like angry dogs and wasps. They have a sixth sense for fear and will strike at the first opportunity

Free Write (3/2/2011)

     Well, after a plethora of comments about my pants, I have finally decided that they actually are too tight around my legs and ass cheeks. I mean, I am working out two to three times a week, drinking lots of water, only eating a breakfast biscuit for breakfast, one for lunch, and one other meal for dinner. I will stop before I begin digressing, but the point is that I do not think it is a weight issue. Before I began the program, my life was much less stressful and, consequently, I did not have pent up tension that needed to be remedied by physical activity. Nowadays, I am much more active and I think my leg and butt muscles have grown to a size that now makes my school pants too tight. So, though my pants were a very nice birthday present (they are from Brooks Brothers), they do have permanent blemishes ranging from small pen and dirt marks around the pockets, ink stains from pens that have burst in my pocket, and holes in the back right pockets from my money clip. Being on my current salary, I do not really have the option to go back there and buy a few pairs of some larger pants. At this point, I’m thinking Wal Mart is my best option. That having been said, I have yet to peruse their selection of khaki pants, but I continue to remain hopeful

     Every now and then, I receive some free time other than my post-school physical activity when I can enjoy the escape of video games. I have found that my skills in Super Smash Bros have not diminished one iota. Well, at least my skills against the computer have not eroded. My skills against humans is a different story, and I might be able to write about it if my roommate, AW, hadn’t quite literally smashed our third controller in a priceless fit of rage caused by losing a very close game late one night during Christmas Break. Since I now stay away from using Pikachu due to his cheaply overpowered moves, I have become more adept at using other characters. Ness is my new jam. His movements are very unorthodox and he wields surprising strength and edge advantages, especially for his small stature. His drawbacks are that he is frustratingly slow on the ground and, if you can hit him, he flies off the screen very quickly due to his light weight. 

     Other than these two things, everything else on weekdays is school, school, and more school

Join MTC or not?

   Being a teacher with less than one whole school year under his belt, I am not sure how qualified I am to answer this question. However, since part of my grade is based on trying to answer it, I suppose I will give it a go. 

   There are certain, obvious reasons why someone should join the program: steady work with federal benefits, a masters completely paid for by the university, the chance to meet plenty of intelligent, interesting, and very talented people who enjoy teaching and run the gamut from being just as inexperienced and timid as you to more seasoned and confident than you could imagine. Oh, and how could I forget the sweet MacBook that is issued in the summer?  These are all wonderful things and great incentives, but, unfortunately, this view of how the program operates and what you will experience is simplistic, naive, and incomplete at best.

   Let’s look at the first item on the list: work. Perhaps the word “relentless” would be more apt than the word “steady”. I honestly feel consumed with school, which makes sense when I’m actually in it, but work associated with school pervades every part of my being even when I get home. Once the school day begins, I do not stop working until I go to sleep... honestly. I arrive at school at 6:50 each morning and do not stop monitoring students until 3:45. Also, since track and field is in season these days, I switch from monitoring students to monitoring athletes from 4 - 5. After a 30 minute commute back home, it is time to make the next day’s powerpoint/worksheet/lesson until it is time for bed. If I did not have certain breaks such as my 2nd period planning period, the 30 minute commute, and some physical activity that I make sure to do when I get home either before or after planning, I probably would not have made it this far. But hey, if I need a flu shot, the cost is next to nothing so I guess everything evens out in the end, right...?

   Next, we get to the masters degree. While I won’t say it is exactly free, since my soul is taxed every single day, it is nice to know that I am working towards something. However, the classes we take for it do not exactly have an inordinate impact on how good of a teacher I am. Also, it is not like we are working towards a dissertation or huge research paper. Let it be clear that I am not complaining about the seemingly small amount of work required for this degree because I more than work my ass off at school. However, I am not sure how much weight such a degree will carry on a resume.

   I can’t really complain about the people or the computer, and the details about my list are not meant to be reasons to not join. I’m still confident that I want to teach and I am glad that I am going through something like teaching at my school very early in my career when I do not know any better. Applicants, though, need not be uninformed or misinformed about what they are getting into.

Education in Finland

So Finland is going to take over the world in mathematics and science pretty soon, eh? Well... at least per capita... maybe... ok, probably not, and even if they do take over per capita, it basically amounts to nothing in the end. I am well aware that that was not the article’s intent, but I thought I would poke some fun at Finland by inserting some American chauvinism into the mix. Also, not to attempt to refute the article, but I would like to point out the glaring irony that Finnish students’, teachers’, and schools’ successes are not measured by standardized tests, though Finland’s rank amongst other countries is based on standardized tests... I’m just sayin’.

A huge and very important difference is the perception of the profession of teaching by the Finnish people. Teachers need higher-level degrees? Teachers are regarded with the same confidence as physicians? Finns trust public schools more than almost any other public institution? That must be what heaven is like. In my dystopian present, nothing could be farther from the truth. I am openly mocked by students for what seems to them as ineptitude when I don’t teach an objective exactly the same way as their previous teacher taught it to them (don’t get me started on how infuriated I can become when this happens). Students are insanely disrespectful in other ways, such as when I give them a writing assignment for talking (“Mane, I ain’t gonna do it” or “This mane be writin’ down checks and givin’ out writin’ assignments, mane!” or “It’s ovah with!” or “Dis mane’s just a school boy”). Also (a commonplace complaint), when I send students to the office, a slightly hyperbolized metaphor would be that they usually receive a tickle on the wrist with a feather while lounging, being fanned with palm fronds, and fed grapes by beautiful servants. Unless every adult that I heard talk about school when they were young was lying, I assume that there was a time when teachers had a certain swagger and air of respect about them in the community, and maybe that still exists in some long forgotten corner of the nation. Unfortunately, those days are long gone due to our, perhaps masochistic, infatuation with sensationalized bad news. You know... a teacher sleeping with a student here... a student being whipped with a weight lifting belt there. The combination of too many isolated incidents of bad people doing bad things while under the label of “teacher” and the media licking their chops for any egregious activities to report have forever crippled the image of teachers in the United States.

Successful Group Work... Finally

It took forever, but I think I’m finally starting to get a true fell for what good teaching is. I finally feel like my power points are the correct size and depth for what I want to cover, my worksheets assess what they are supposed to assess, my kids are somewhat quiet when I am speaking and during work, and I think that I have finally conquered the beast that used to be the bane of my existence... group work.

I remember trying out group work during the summer just to see how it would go and it is obvious to me now how poor of an approach that is. With group work you have to be an incredible multi-tasker, answering and coming to the aid of every stupid little question that each group inevitably asks because they were not present, were asleep, or, most likely, just did not care to attempt to comprehend your futile efforts to teach them how to find the intersection of two lines on a calculator or some other skill that will be on a test in three or four months that they do not care about at that moment because their foresight does not go beyond what unhealthy, if not illegal, fun they will be having that weekend... *takes a deep breath*... Also, you have to rule with an iron fist and have a very structured setting for them to work under.  For example, I pick the groups beforehand in order to not let best friends be with best friends as that can certainly be a recipe for disaster. Also, I present rules and consequences for that particular activity on the power point before the activity is started and I stick to it almost vehemently for the duration of the class period. Perhaps most powerful is my cheap method of usually keeping a score in some way and having a variety of edible rewards for the winning group. That usually seems to entice them to work though the expenditures keep me from trying group work very often.

I remember my team teacher telling me this summer that I should not try group work until around late-October or November.  Naturally, I didn’t listen and tried it when the second year teacher across the hall from me suggested it in mid-September. Suffice it to say that the team teacher was pretty spot on with her suggestion (I still don’t think they can figure out multi-step equations by hand). However, through trial and tribulation I  have figured out a sufficiently acceptable formula for conducting group work. Who knows... maybe it’ll even get easy one day.